Really Funny Jokes

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Friday, July 22, 2016

Beer joke-Technique to sell twice

Andre staggers into the bar, completely sloshed. He asks the bar attendant for a beer and says to him, "I can share a technique with you which will help you sell twice the amount of beer."

The bar attendant asks, "Wow, what is it?"

Andre replies, "Nothing complicated. You simply have to pour full glasses."

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Judge joke-Odd figure

The Judge charged Peter with rape and pronounced in the court, "You are to undergo ten years of rigorous imprisonment and you are charged with a fine of 10608 dollars."

Peter asked, "I did not understand the odd figure of 10608 dollars."

The Judge replied, "10000 dollars for rape, 4% for local taxes and 2% entertainment tax."

Monday, July 18, 2016

Sardar joke-How to enjoy a banana

Sardar Santa Singh was eating a banana without peeling it. His friend Surinder commented, "Why don't you peel it first?"

To this, Sardar Santa Singh replied, "Why the need to peel? I already know there is a banana inside."

Friday, July 15, 2016

All kinds

Tom says to his wife, "What kind of food have you cooked? This tastes like sh*t!"

Sandra mutters to herself, "Oh God, this man has tasted everything in life."

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Funny joke-Finally at rest

Rebecca, who had 9 children from her marriage to Dan, decided to remarry when Dan died. So she married Bosco and had 8 more children.

When Bosco died, Rebecca decided to marry one more time and had 6 more children from her marriage to John.

One day, Rebecca passes away. At the funeral, Father Gomes prayed for her and said, "Thank you Almighty, for they are finally together."

One of the mourners asked another, "Does Father Gomes mean Dan, Bosco or John?"

The other mourner replies, "I think he is referring to her legs."

Monday, July 11, 2016

Barber joke-New salon

Jose had a haircut at a new salon that had opened in the neighborhood. When he stepped out, he met his friend Pedro. Pedro asked him, "How is this new joint?"

Jose replied, "Well, the haircut was okay but I did not appreciate the 4-letter word that the barber kept repeating during the haircut."

Pedro, now intrigued, asked, "What was that?"

Jose replied, "DARN!"

Friday, July 8, 2016

Circus jokes-Performance without clothes

Carla said to her husband, "Rick, let's go to see the circus."

Rick dismissed her immediately by saying, "No, I am busy."

Carla insisted, "C'mon, do you know they have a girl in the circus who rides a lion without clothes!"

Hearing this, Rick agrees and says, "You are very persistent. Okay, let's go, it's been a long time since I have seen a lion."

Rick bought the most expensive seats in the first row. The lion arrived on stage and did some antics but the girl without the clothes was not to be seen anywhere.

After the show, Rick asked Carla, "What happened to the girl you mentioned who would perform without clothes?"

Carla glared at him and replied, "I had said that the lion will appear without clothes!"