Saturday, May 12, 2012

Twenty inflexible rules in the office

Twenty inflexible Rules in the office

1. Never challenge the boss. He is always right.

2. If the Boss is mistaken, see rule # 1.

3. Those who work hard always get more work. Others enjoy pay, perks, and promotions.

4. Ph.D. denotes "Pull Him Down". The more capable, hardworking and dedicated you are, the more number of people will be involved in pulling you down.

5. If you are good, you will get a lot of work. If you are very good, you will get out of it.

6. When the Boss talks about improving productivity, he never includes his own self.

7. What you do in not important, what matters is what you say you have done and what you will be doing.

8. A pat on the back is only inches away from a kick in the behind.

9. Don't be indispensable. If you cannot be dispensed with, you cannot be promoted.

10. The more crap you take, the more you are going to get.

11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

12. When you don't know what is to be done, walk fast and look concerned.

13. You cannot get work done by following rules.

14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.

15. A lot can be filed under "Miscellaneous".

16. No matter how much you do, it is never enough.

17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are meant to be doing.

18. It is not essential to know your job in order to get promoted.

19. You only need to pretend that you know your job to get promoted.

20. All the blame for any situation can be put on the last person who resigned or was fired.