Saturday, July 14, 2012

Funny jokes-Who needs Nursing home care

We, the elderly do not want nursing homes anymore. We prefer to check into a Holiday Inn!

What with the average cost for a nursing home care touching $200 per day, we have found a better option when we are old and need to be taken care of.

We've checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, they are offering $73.56 per night. Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.

That leaves us with a host of benefits:

# $126.44 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we like, room service, laundry, TV movies or any other expenses.

# Not just that, they provide a spa, swimming pool, gym, washer-dryer, and other facilities.

# Other than that, we get free toothpaste, shampoo, soap and razors.

# If we give even $5 worth of tips a day, we'll have the entire staff scrambling to help us.

# Best part - they treat us like a customer - not a patient.

# We get a city bus from the bus stop across the street and we seniors ride free.

# If we can fake a limp, that's even better - the handicap bus will pick us up .

# We have a church bus service on Sundays to meet other nice people.

# For a change of scenery, we take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While we're at the airport, we have the option to fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps piling up.

# It would have taken us months to get into a decent nursing home. Holiday Inn will take care of our reservation today.

# Another advantage - we are not stuck at one place forever - we can move from Inn to Inn, or from city to city.

# Want to see exotic places? Holiday Inn is everywhere. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Shower needs fixing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

# They even have night security and daily room service. The room service checks to see if we are all right. If not, they'll call an ambulance, or the undertaker, as the case may be. If we fall and break a bone, Medicare will pay for the treatment, and Holiday Inn will upgrade us to a suite for the rest of our lives.

# Nothing to worry about visits from family. They will always be glad to find us, and probably check in for a few days of vacationing.

# The grandchildren will be happy to use the pool.

What more could we old folk ask for?