Friday, October 24, 2014

A drunkard's story

Tom was an alcoholic and had been trying to kick the habit. He had joined AA, and with great difficulty, had managed to keep off hard drinks. While running an errand downtown, he passed by a pub and has the urge to have a few quick drinks. He promised himself that he is gonna have only a few beers and get out fast, 'cos if he got drunk, he was sure his wife would abandon him.

So he went in, and could not help but get drunk. To make matters worse, he threw up and spoilt his jacket. He started weeping because he knew the inevitable - Mary would get mad at him and seek a divorce. An old gent sitting next to Tom asked him what was wrong and Tom narrated his tale. The old gent said, "C'mon it's not all that bad. I will give you an idea. Take a dollar bill and put it in your jacket pocket. Tell you wife you only had a couple of beers and I puked on you. Just say that I gave you the dollar to get it dry cleaned."

Tom thought it was a great idea and thanked the old man. He went home and when Mary saw his soiled jacket, she got wild and screamed, "You got drunk again! After having put up with you for so long, after having been through so much, you just didn't care about me and got drunk! I am leaving! Now!"

Tom urged Mary to stop and said, "Let me explain, sweetheart. I did not get drunk, only had a couple of buds."

Mary yelled, "Take a look at yourself, you threw up and your jacket is all soiled!"

Tom explained, "There was an old man who was drunk and he threw up on me. He put a dollar bill in my jacket to have it cleaned up. See here."

Mary reached into his pocket and pulled out a $5 bill.

"Isn't this a $5 bill?" she asked.

Tom replied, "Uhh, I forgot to mention. He soiled my pants too!"